Elspeth's Jokes

home    first impressions 

What do you have when your head is hot, your feet are cold and you see dots?

A polka dot sock on your head!

 

If three people are under one umbrella why don’t they get wet?

Because it isn’t raining!

 

Why did someone throw butter out the window?

Because he wanted to see the butterfly.

 

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence.

 

What kind of tie does a pig wear?

A pigsty.

 

What do you call an elephant that never washes?

A smellyphant.

 

What’s bright orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

 

What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?

An elephant can have fleas but a flea can’t have elephants.

 

Did you know it takes three sheep to make a sweater?

Hmmm.  I didn’t even know that they could knit.

 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Haywood, Hugh and Harry

Haywood, Hugh and Harry who?

Haywood Hugh Harry up and open the door?

 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Witches

Witches who?

Witches the way home?

 

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Water

Water who?

Water friends for.

  

knock knock

who’s there?

Ice cream soda

Ice cream soda who?

Ice cream soda neighbours wake up.

 

(please send me your favourite jokes!!!!!)